What Creates an Unhappy Marriage and How Do You Fix It?

Posted on Sep 10, 2016 in Marriage

For a long time, our society has dictated that marriage is one of the normal steps in a person’s life. However, more and more people are starting to have a different perspective on marriage. A lot of people spend most of their life searching for a perfect partner. Unfortunately, the problems don’t end when we find that perfect person and we decide to commit to a life long marriage. Given the fact that people are currently having a very libertine approach to marriage, the divorce rate has increased significantly. This is mostly due to the fact that people are no longer willing to make sacrifices in order to make a marriage work. Today we are going to discuss about the factors which can cause an unhappy marriage and how can we deal with this unhappiness.

  • Ways in which you may be sabotaging your marriage

Although nobody likes to take responsibility for romance problems, if you are really interesting in fixing your unhappy marriage, you need to be a grown-up and face the harsh reality. There are a lot of situations in which you unwillingly sabotage your marriage. For example if you wait for your spouse to say he needs something even if you already know he needs it, then you are clearly not interested in his happiness. This is a very serious problem especially when it concerns your bedroom interactions. Furthermore, if you don’t declare your love to your spouse or you ignore the little gestures of affection while constantly complaining about him not being romantic, you are also sabotaging your marriage. Other similar situations are: when you ignore your lack of libido, when you are the only one making compromises, when you assume that you know how your spouse thinks, when you constantly ignore his opinions (thinking that only you know what is good for the family) or when you no longer connect with each other on a daily basis.

  • 3 ways of dealing with an unhappy marriage

According to a recent study which was performed on over 500 couples, 2 out of 3 marriages which had problems managed to overcome them in the long run. Divorce is a solution for a lot of unhappy marriages but you should know that no couple is perfect and everybody is dealing with romance problems. If you want to avoid future regrets, you must do everything in your power in order to salvage your marriage. The couples who participated in the study and who managed to save their marriages chose one of three options. The first group of couples, accepted that marriage is a lot of work and you constantly need to work on it in order to make it work. These couples saved their marriages by making constant efforts in order to connect with each other and improved their love life. The second group of couples choose not to take any action and let time solve all their problems. The third group of couples tried to find individual happiness so that the romance problems wouldn’t weight so much on them. In the end, in order to find the right way of saving your marriage, you must establish what are your marital expectation; do you want constant proofs of love and romantic moments or do you just want a partner who shares your family responsibilities?

  • Couples counseling

Most marital problems have high chances of getting solved when the only people involved in the drama are the two partners. However, if the marriage has been unhappy for a long time, you may benefit from help from a couples therapist. When the unhappiness persists for a long time, the partners may have a difficult time separating the real problems from the normal disagreements. Tn these cases, a professional opinion can be very helpful. On the other hand, if your problems are new, the best thing to do is confront them before they become more serious and talk with your partner so that you both agree on constructive solutions.