How to Avoid the Authoritarian Parenting Style

Posted on Oct 29, 2013 in Parenting

The authoritarian parenting style is defined by strict rules and high expectations. It is not a positive parenting style as it can have serious consequences on the children’s development. When the child is still young, the parents don’t really have a parenting style but they develop one as the child grows. Developing a good parenting style can be quite difficult as we are often confronted with challenges that we don’t know how to handle. If you want to avoid being a strict and cold parent, you should check out the following pieces of advice.

  • What defines an authoritarian parent?

Authoritarian parenting is based on the old belief that parents know best. These types of parents have high expectations from their children and they believe that the best way for the children to meet those expectations is to obey by strict rules. These parents are very demanding but not responsive. Furthermore they rarely express affection, they use punishments and don’t give the children any options.

  • How children are affected by authoritarian parenting

Children who are raised by authoritarian parents often associate obedience with love. Furthermore, some of these children have a lot of social challenges and can be quite aggressive when they escape the firm parents. Low self esteem is also another symptom of this parenting style.

  • How to avoid being an authoritarian parent

The most important parenting tip is to build a connection with your child. Try to understand what your child is going through at school and in social circles. Learn about his/her passions and interest. If you are honest and opened with your child, you will be able to earn his/her respect without forcing it. Furthermore, constant discussions will make it easier for both you and the child to be affectionate to each other. Bending the rules is also an important tip if you want your child to trust you and if you too in return want to be able to trust your child. For example, if you set a certain curfew which your child does not agree with, you need to make some compromises from time to time. This way your child will see that you understand his/her needs. Try to avoid punishing your child. Instead of punishments try to explain to your child why his/her actions were wrong and find a way for the child to fix the mistakes he/she made. This will help the child understand the consequences of certain actions and it will make him/her be more careful and mindful in the future. You might also want to research positive parenting solutions in order to know how to handle certain parenting challenges.